| ADOPTION |
Discussing adoption of step children
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For many who end up getting involved in a marriage with someone who has children, problems can arise, especially if both partners have children from previous marriages. In such cases each parent is legally responsible for their own offspring, so it is often best to leave the discipline to the respective parent, otherwise the children can grow to despise or even hate one or both parents and their half brothers and sisters.
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When it comes to your step children, you don’t have a lot of control over what they do and what they become. If you happen to have a partner that agrees with the way that you raise their children, then you will find that the fact that you aren’t legally their guardian, may not matter, but you should always be aware of the law with regard to the chastisement of children, in many parts of the world it is illegal to physically hit or smack a child and you could find yourself taken to court by your own children, or step children.
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If the step children already have another parent in their life, then trying to adopt them could be a fruitless journey, obviously it would depend on the individuals concerned. That other parent would no doubt protest the adoption of his children, and you wouldn’t want to intrude on the different relationships with their parents that your step children already have. If however the other parent is not bothered about his children, he may be glad to give them up for adoption, as this would free him of any responsibility for them, once the legal documentation has been accepted. But you need to think long and hard before making this decision as you will be assuming all legal responsibility for his children.
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Then again, the situation could be that your wife’s previous husband has died and she alone has the legal responsibility for her children, if she is in agreement and the children are not opposed to the idea you may decide to adopt her children and become one united happy family, although sometimes older children might be opposed to having their surname changed to yours, often after a family discussion these problems can be resolved or a compromise can be reached, but whatever the case the children’s wellbeing should be the deciding factor, and keeping the children involved and informed is always the best way to handle things, it helps to avoid misunderstandings and leads to a happier family.
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Keep in mind that adoption is a big undertaking also if things go wrong in your relationship and you get a divorce, you are still going to be held responsible for the child or children you adopted until they reach adulthood. You will want to be absolutely sure that this is something that you really want to do before you sign any paperwork.
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